Some stupid jokes

[starfish21]

i met a girl i really liked in the park last night,there was an instant spark between us,her legs seemed to just turn to jelly and she collapsed into my arms.
it made me think.....these taser guns are fucking brilliant.

[starfish21]

a man farts loudly in bed,turns to his wife and says '1 - 0 to me,his wife farts and says '1 - 1. he farts again...'2-1 to me' he says,she farts even louder....2 - 2.
'right!' he says and farts so hard he follows through and shits all over the sheets,
''what was that?' she asks, 'half time ' he answers 'swap sides'

[starfish21]

i joined a dating agency last month,i said on my profile that one of my wishes was to have an intimate relationship with a page 3 girl,i wondered why i got a lot of rather nasty replies till i discovered the letter 'p' wasn't working on my keyboard.

[corsarace]

i joined a dating agency last month,i said on my profile that one of my wishes was to have an intimate relationship with a page 3 girl,i wondered why i got a lot of rather nasty replies till i discovered the letter 'p' wasn't working on my keyboard.

[ptguardian]

"The Nude Beach"

A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why.

She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

[ptguardian]

Because I am an American, I think it is safe for me to post this one

"Americans"

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American."

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

[ptguardian]

"The Talking Triplets"

Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets.

In her stomach the babies were talking to each other.

The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here".

The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here".

And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".

[ptguardian]

One last joke for today

A Girl and Her Twinkie

A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father. While her dad is getting his hair cut, the girl begins eating a snack cake. While she's eating, she walks over and stands right next to the barber's chair.

The barber looks down and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

"I know," the little girl replies. "I'm gonna get boobies, too."

[Phuzzy4242]

Groooooooaaaaaaaannnnn

[starfish21]

just in case anybody thought you made that placename up Willow.



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