FirstLoveMovies

A blind man enters a lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a
bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he
yells to the bartender,

"Hey, Bartender, do you want to hear a blonde bimbo joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

The woman next to him says in a very deep, husky voice,

"Before you tell that joke, Sir, I think it would be fair – given that
you are blind – that you are aware of five facts:
1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 – The bouncer is a powerful blonde girl.
3 – I am a 6 feet tall, 14 stone blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 – The woman next to me is blonde and is a professional weight-lifter.
5 – The lady to your right is also blonde and is a free-style wrestler...........
.....so I suggest that you think about it seriously, do you really want to tell that joke?"


The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and says;
"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times

[Image]

The ultimate thing for redneck yuppies...

[Image]

Phuzzy4242 wrote:The ultimate thing for redneck yuppies...

[Image]

HEY!!! I own one of those! They are the BEST!!

kev.

A man who went to Church with his wife

A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with it every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th?" she poked her husband, who came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God all mighty".

The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon. The man sat back down, muttering under his breath, and later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins?" the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ". The Minister said, "That's right, that's Right" and went on with his sermon.

The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to, "...and what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child?", the wife started to poke the husband but he jumped up and said, "If you stick that damn thing in me again I'll break it off".

BEE STING

A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf
When she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return
To the clubhouse for help and to complain.

Her golf pro, seeing her come into the clubhouse, said
'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
'Where', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said,
'Then your feet are too far apart.'

Oh dear [Image]

[Image]

Have you seen the sex shops in Palestine? Great inflatable dolls... they blow themselves up.

An Islamic panda bear walks into a bar, orders a sandwich, and eats it. Then it pulls out a gun, blasts everybody, and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Hey, what was that all about?"
The panda says, "Look it up on Wikipedia."
The bartender looks up 'panda bear' and reads, "Eats shoots and leaves."