FirstLoveMovies

Scenario 1:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist-fight after school.

1957
Crowd gathers.
Mark wins.
Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2010
Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark...
Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months.
School board hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes

Scenario 2:
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957
Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal.
Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010
Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin.
Becomes a zombie.
Tested for ADHD.
Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario 3:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957
Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2010
Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse.
Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.
State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison.

Scenario 4:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957
Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2010
Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.
Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 5:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bull-ant nest.

1957
Ants die.

2010
Police and Anti-Terrorism Squad called.
Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated.
Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 6:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.
Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957
In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010
Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in Prison.
Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

CRIME

Police in Liverpool just announced the discovery of an arms cache of 2000 semi automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 20 tonnes of heroin, £50 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library.
Local residents were stunned!
A community spokesman said:
"We're shocked. We never even knew we had a fucking library!

ONE LINER'S

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a monthly income.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "Doctor".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Brigade usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Thanks, I lol'd.